so after close to 24 hours of travel I have finally arrived in Scranton, PA. I would go on an on about the people I met and the great time I had but I wouldn’t want to bore you with such details. I mean you’ve seen the iphone photo documentation already. obviously a joyous time was had by all. especially me. yep. right. sure. yep. do you get it?!?!? I would hope so.
and its from an 800 # and you are planning to fly out in the morning it means your flight was cancelled. and when you call the airline to figure out why, they are going to tell you its due to air plane maintenance. and when you try to get another flight you are going to be told that the soonest you can go is tomorrow. and the first flight they are going to offer you is going to be the worst possible flight. they are going to expect you to spend 16 hours stopping in multiple states only to get in so late in the night that you are an inconvenience to pick up. when you tell the airline that this is unacceptable and you try to explain that you paid more when you booked your ticket to avoid travelling under these now imposed conditions you will be read a pre-written response by someone who has read it a hundred times and it will make you want to jump thru the phone and scoop their eyeballs out with a rusty spoon. at this point you will have to remind yourself that this action will get you no where. you will stand your ground and ask as politely as you can if there are any other options. you will continue to hold. you will continue to hold. you will continue to hold. once you have been on hold long enough you will be offered a second choice. it will require you to sit in an airport for 5 hours at 6 in the morning. this airport will only be 2 hours away from your destination, by CAR. this will anger you to the same extent as the other flight you were offered. you will again be read a pre-written response that will again make you want to jump thru the phone and shove the previously scooped eyeballs down the throat of the person on the other end that is “just doing their job”. you wont do this. you will instead attempt to regain your composure and again you will try to explain that you paid extra money to not have to have to travel this way. you will be asked to hold. you will hold. when the person on the other end who is “just doing their job” comes back, you will be told that there is one last option. it will be the same option you were offered 25mins ago only the amount of time you have to sit in the airport that is 2 hours away from your destination will now only be 2 hours. you will wonder why the fuck you were not offered this option in the first place. at this point you will have been on the phone for almost 2 hours. defeated and unaware if you can fight for what you feel you paid for any longer you will take this third option. you will now be arriving 1.5 days later than you would have if there had not been issues with “airplane maintenance”. this day will be christmas eve. after all this you will wonder what they are doing with the planes from flights that were cancelled for real reasons…like snow storms. things that couldn’t have been avoided. things that aren’t issues that should have been maintenanced months ago. you will again feel the anger start to boil you will again feel the need to injure all the idiots…..
The thirty year old man sitting in front of me is watching ratatouille on his ipod touch by himself
A 36 year old writer on The Soup and one of my most amazing friends thinks ratatouille is one of the best movies of all time and frequently watches it by himself. he also wears a bikini so that might be saying something…..